“In fact, a Harvard study published just last year showed that nearly 80 percent of kids stated that the primary message they receive from their parents is that personal achievement and happiness matters more than care and concern for other people. The kids in the study were also three times more likely to agree with the following statement: “My parents are prouder if I get good grades in my class than if I’m a caring community member in class and school.”
A good report card is a more visible measure of my parenting skills to teachers than my son’s random act of sharing a toy with another child in the corner—an act that nobody ever sees.
When we don’t believe we have what it takes as parents, it’s too easy to reach for the outward affirmation that’ll prove to us, and everyone else, otherwise. So we end up valuing success over character. Feeling better over loving better.”
- Safe House: Chapter 1, By: Joshua Straub